Hoping.

The last few days have given me somewhat unique experience of hope. Not hope in the Lord (though I wasn’t above asking for his assistance behind the scenes.) I was hoping to get an email from Peter Jackson telling me that I’d been chosen as one of the winners of #thehobbitfan contest. They said about ten days, and Thursday was day ten. I re-read the contest rules to see how they planned to make their announcements and scanned Google, FB and finally Twitter. Twitter seemed the most informative, though it seemed more like a rumor mill than anything. I suppose that even if they informed the winners, it will take another couple of days for them to respond and the final winners to be announced. Hmmmmmmm?

I finally looked at several videos and that actually increased my hope because I didn’t think any of them were much better than mine. (I’m not saying none of them were better; just commenting on the ten or so that I randomly watched.)

Still, I would like some closure. Just announce the winners. Because there is still a part of me that keeps hoping. Me and a few hundred hopeful contestants.

But the real subject of this blog is hope. For me it was a wavering between my brain and my heart. I knew it wasn’t realistic to think I’d win, but my heart so wanted it that I’d let go of my natural pessimism and start making plans for my trip.

And it really wasn’t all about hoping to win. It would be fun and cool to win, no doubt about that, but what I really hoped for was a chance to see Anne. I thought it would be such poetic justice to be gifted with what would be a whirlwind week with her, right about the time of her planned November wedding. And it would make this year-plus-long hiatus when we won’t see her at all just a little more palatable.

All along, I’ve been thinking a lot about hope and faith. They are not the same thing but it a little difficult to figure out where hope ends and faith begins. What is hope vs faith? I think Mike Hamel demonstrates it best when he writes extensively about the struggles he has had with faith over the past years and then concludes: I’m still hanging on to hope. “As my faith has wavered under close scrutiny I’ve come to lean more heavily on hope to keep doubt from debilitating me completely. I’m not alone in this regard. Many have questioned the faith of their youth but are reluctant to lose hope.” (We Will Be Landing Shortly)

Faith might be a little bit more about the “head” part of our Christianity, the “I believe in Jesus Christ…” of our creeds. Hope seems like the heart. It actually feels like the heart at this moment when I’m hoping for a particular prize. My head doesn’t ache with longing, but my heart seems to contract a little more deeply; my pulse races with the excitement at the thought of winning.

One blogger made these comparisons: “Faith originates in the understanding, hope rises in the will…By faith we begin, by hope we continue….Faith is a judge. It judges errors. Hope is a soldier; it fights against tribulations, the cross, despondency, despair, and waits for better things to come in the midst of evil…Faith concentrates on the truth; hope looks to the goodness of God.” Every Glimpse is Grace blog.

Of course, real hope is “in the Lord”. This contest is but a blip on the radar of my life (or a spike on rhythm an EKG.)

What does it mean to hope in the Lord? Is it hope for the afterlife, a future home in heaven? Hope that God will orchestrate my life for his purposes and my benefit (I wanted to say comfort, but I’m pretty sure that is wrongheaded)? Hope for meaning for this life, both the “good” and the “bad”? Whatever it means, I’m pretty sure that the Lord is the source of what we’re hoping. God is the one who will bring to fruition all that he has promised, both now and in the future (as He has in the past.) Isaiah 40:30-31 uses both “wait” and “hope” depending on the translation. We wait. We hope…in the the Lord.