More weeding.

photo 1The battle for my front yard rages on. I’ve got two sections conquered and only one to go. Hopefully, it will be a nice Memorial Day weekend and we can get a lot done in the yard. Johnny worked on the raised bed garden today, planting tomatoes, peppers and a few herbs.

I’m now up to 9 months post-chemo. My hair is growing like, well, the weeds. Last week Terese trimmed it at the neck to get rid of the mullet-look that was starting to develop and shaped the rest of it a bit. I think it is about 3 inches long and still pretty curly.

I was so happy when Mari stopped mid-sentence and said “I can’t get used to your hair.” I’m really grateful for the hair and the curls, but it is so not me. Everyone seems to have the opinion that it’s the “new me,” or should be. I’m not quite ready for that.

It’s quick and easy to fix after a shower, but requires a shower every morning when I wake up with bed head. I’m not used to that. I’m also unsure about having the top down on my convertible (!!!!) worrying that it will mess up my hair. With long hair that was never an issue. (I think I’ll just carry a spray bottle in the car and wet-scrunch-and-go if my hair gets too poufy.)

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I’ve also been thinking and reading about another type of “weeding” that will probably be my work for the summer and maybe longer: post-treatment recovery. I read a book last year that talked about the painful reality of life after treatment, about it not being possible to pack the cancer experience in a box and shove it to the back of the closet. So I haven’t been too surprised to find myself struggling with discouragement, though some of my defenses have kept it at bay, allowing it to leak out in mostly manageable doses. Dancing in Limbo is helping me understand some of the processes of grief, loss and fears of recurrence.  I’m hoping my time at the Wellness House will also aid me in this work. (I finally jumped through all the hoops to be ready to begin an exercise program and still hope to connect with some of their other resources. )

At church, my name is still on the weekly prayer list and I often think that it should be taken off since I’m basically done with treatment. When I suggested that a couple months ago, Angie told me to leave it on while I got through some of the other events and issues facing me at the time. Now, I think maybe it’s a good thing to leave it on while I work through some of the emotional aspects of surviving cancer. At the very least, I will ask my blog buddies to keep praying for me during this time. I can’t tell you exactly what to pray for so maybe just ask the Spirit to intercede on my behalf:

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance to God’s will (Romans 8:26.)

 

I thought I would add a couple cute pictures of my grandsons (to offset the horror of the bedhead shot.) Awwwww.

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