I am very aware of the passing of time this summer. After that long winter and our crazy spring, the long-awaited summer is already going by too quickly. I want to savor the moments but I’m finding it difficult.
Work has filled up my days and consumed my energy. We are three weeks into our new Electronic Medical Record system and just starting to get comfortable with it. At home, yard work has taken another big chunk of my time–constant weeding–but it is starting to bear fruit (well, flowers.)
I’ve continued my Swedish Genealogy (including a field trip for a Swedish Pancake breakfast) but lately the focus has been on reading books written by my Mom’s cousin and continuing to organize my information. Someday soon I’d like to venture into Chicago–to the north side neighborhoods and downtown to look for vital records.
In the meantime, I’ve started tackling my own genealogy resources–letters and journals that have accumulated over the years. One of my goals is to sort through at least one box of storage each week and early on I found journal cards that I started writing in 1985. I felt obligated to read through them and also get rid of them. I’ve been writing a few paragraphs for each month’s worth of cards, attempting to hang on to the good memories without burdening my family with excessive words. One friend suggested that I “rewrite history” and I’ve kind of enjoyed doing that. I want to pass on to my family an honest picture of my life, but they don’t need to know everything!
As a result, life is busier than I’d like. I’m sensitive to the fact that my time is truly being spent. I often find myself wondering if I’m spending it wisely? I can’t quite get over the question of how much time I have left. I know there is no answer to the question, but it doesn’t stop me from evaluating my activities and well, wondering. Every choice I make also seems a choice not to do something else; every focus a distraction from other pursuits. I can’t do it all, so what is it that I choose to do?
I did figure out five goals for the rest of my life (at least for the time being): 1) I don’t want to leave any messes behind for my family to “clean up.” Under that heading, comes finances, house “stuff” and the gazillion words I seem to have written. We’d really like to pack up our house and move sometime in the next 1-2 years, downsizing both our space and our belongings. 2) Leave something lasting–words, stories, family history, a few quilts and an example. This gives credence to my hobbies! 3) Get ready for heaven and eternal life. 4) Invest in the lives of my children and grandchildren. 5) Be healthy as long as I am able (eat well, move well, live well.)
And for now, those goals help me decide how to spend my time.