Timing is Everything

Awhile ago, I posted a blog called God Knew. In it, I was reveling in the hindsight of God’s timing in our family’s life. As I looked back over the past couple of years, I was touched by how various events had worked together for our good, even sad and unpleasant circumstances. In particular, I thought the arrival of a new grandbaby this March would be perfectly timed.

I’m still hoping that God Knows, when I can’t yet see. From my vantage point, the timing is extremely complicated but I’m really hoping that God has this all worked out and is just waiting to show me the unfolding of His plan (not mine.)

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The mental picture that I have is of planets and other heavenly bodies careening around space while I wait for all the stars to line up. There is, of course, the upcoming birth of a grandson, officially due March 3rd, but predicted at any time between now and March 12. (See our Squares predictions made last Tuesday night when we were celebrating–early–Laura’s birthday. The winner gets a gift card to a restaurant.) There is also my Dad’s move, scheduled sometime near the beginning of March. And there is my trip to New Zealand, April 17.

 

Then there are some crazy asteroids: We had decided to do my reconstruction in two parts because a follow up MRI is needed to check on a teeny, tiny area of concern that radiologists noted on the left breast last February. It wasn’t enough to warrant a double mastectomy, just observation. I went to have the follow up MRI last August, only to learn that it couldn’t be done until my expander is taken out. So radiation and expansion had to follow. I still hoped to have the surgery done in January but that didn’t happen. Then, I thought I’d just wait and do everything after my trip to New Zealand, but my oncologist didn’t agree. So now we are trying to figure out how to get the first surgery (and MRI) done well before the trip. The complicating factor is that they want me “doing nothing” for 2 weeks after surgery and not lifting more than five pounds for six weeks. I’m pretty sure my new grandbaby is going to weigh more than five pounds and any post-operative packing at my Dad’s house is out of the question.

I finished my last fill yesterday and scheduled surgery for February 18th, the earliest date possible. I don’t know how it will fit into the big picture but I needed to get the ball rolling and then hope it all works out fine. Ideally, Laura’s baby won’t come until two weeks after surgery (though at 37 weeks I am not sure she would agree with that plan at this point. I’m rooting for February 28th, Laura’s 30th birthday, even though that means she will win the gift card.)

I wish life weren’t this way. I wish it could be a lot tidier, that events would come one at a time, in orderly procession. I want to savor this new grandbaby and help Laura transition to life with two children. I want to have time with my Dad and be of some help in his transition to a new home. I want to look forward to being with Anne, assisting with the wedding plans. I want my surgeries done and over, this whole cancer year put behind me. I want to be able to work and pay off my bills. (Another interesting timing factor: John and I are currently going through Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University.)

Dad’s favorite slogan in life is: “Relax, God in in control!” That is what we’re all trying to do in the midst of this. It’s a reminder I need day by day. I’m reminded of all the things that did work out well and trusting this near-future to His control. You’d think I’d have learned that by now. So here is my conclusion: Timing really isn’t everything. Even if things don’t come together as I hope, God is still in control. I’m going to try to relax in that truth. Come what may.

photo 2-1P.S. Anne left Thursday and landed in New Zealand on Saturday. Having Kellen with us either distracted me or eased the pain of saying goodbye. It was a little weird tracking her flight overnight and waking up in the morning knowing she still had six hours of flight time left. How do they keep those planes up there so long? James picked her up and they spent the day at a beach (!) She will start back to work on Tuesday and begin the process of settling back in.

 

 

 

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