Do your ears hang low? Do they wobble to and fro? Can you throw them o’er your back? Can you tie them in a bow? Can you throw them o’er your shoulder like a Continental soldier? Do you ears hang low?

My daughters have the cutest little ears that they didn’t get from me. I never cared at all about the size of my ears until I lost my hair. They’d always looked okay surrounded by a lot of hair. Now, I’m wishing I had cute little ears. My ears hang low.

And what’s worse, is that there is was a parotid tumor just below and slightly back from the left ear lobe. People kept wondering why I didn’t wear earrings with my bald look. It was at least partly because it seemed to draw attention to the lump behind my ear.

I actually noticed the lump about three years ago. I went to see an ENT doctor who did a fine needle biopsy in his office. It came back benign, a pleomorphic adenoma. He wanted to take it out, but I decided to wait awhile because I knew that an important facial nerve runs through that area. I consulted with my regular doctor and his research showed that they could turn into cancer but usually don’t for 10-15 years. I decided to hang onto my smile for a few more years (until Anne got married) and take the risk.

When I was diagnosed with breast cancer last winter, one of my first questions was whether it was time to deal with the parotid. Dr. O’Rourke thought it could wait. When it came up with my breast surgeon, he listened to my reasoning but thought I should get it out sooner rather than later. He told me that he used to do the surgery and that it could be done without facial nerve damage. After surgery and the first few chemo treatments, my oncologist also encouraged me to get it out. Both of them recommended the same doctor at Rush, so I went to see him in September.

Dr. Nielson says there is only a 1% chance of permanent facial nerve damage and that he has only had such case in his entire career. He also wanted to get it out sooner rather than later, recommending that I not put it off for another year. He says that the position of it is better than average (Slightly back from my ear. Many parotid tumors are further forward.)

So, I decided to go ahead and get it done in November. I figured I’d be needing extra rest from radiation fatigue so I might as well be recovering from surgery at the same time. Post radiation and still a couple weeks before Thanksgiving and the rest of the holidays. (I called him back and asked for an estimate for short term recovery and he said I’ll look good in the Christmas pictures. I hope his word is good.)

A part of me is was terrified by this surgery but after all I’ve been through, the larger part of me is accepting that it needs to be done and trusting in the skill of my doctors and the will of my Father. I’m not going to worry about the “what ifs”. A lopsided smile seems too cruel at this point in my life, so I’m just going to assume that it isn’t going to happen. If it does, I guess I’ll deal with it then. (Good strategy!)

Post Script (quite literally): This was written about two weeks ago with plans to post it last week before my surgery. I was just working on embedding the video into the post when my domain apparently expired. So no blog for the last five days. I found I really missed being able to communicate my need for prayer, but fortunately, Facebook worked as a decent alternative.

The surgery went well. My smile is intact, I can blink my eye and scrunch my face. The recovery period was a little rough the following night and day, but I truly was so relieved and happy about my smile that a little nausea and vomiting seemed like a small price to pay. I stayed an extra 36 hours and came home this morning.

Before and after pictures (warning: second picture may be too graphic! (But look at all that hair 🙂