In the past year, I’ve learned the value of praying out loud.

Prayer has always been a bit of a struggle for me. I’ve read the books, listened to the sermons, kept prayer lists and journals, joined prayer groups, and practiced the spiritual disciplines. And I’ve continued to struggle with it. My mind wanders and my prayers seem to bounce off the ceiling.

I really believe in prayer. I have felt the prayers of my friends and family especially during this year. Many–from all walks of life–have told me that they have been praying for me. Sometimes they say it apologetically, as if they are sorry that is all they’ve been able to do. I always tell them that it’s the most important thing they can do, but I’m not sure we always believe it. We are dependent upon the God of the universe for so many things that are out of our control (but not His.) Praying seems like a pretty reasonable and important response to life.

One friend calls me up every several weeks and asks penetrating questions about how I am doing. And then she always prays with me over the phone. I haven’t seen her once during this whole ordeal, but those phone calls are refreshing and sweet.

I’ve also developed the habit of praying aloud with Johnny during his more difficult times of depression. This is really a “crying out loud” because is most often when I don’t know what to do or say anymore that I turn to praying with and for him, turning both of our minds heavenward for a brief time. It almost always seems to help.

Earlier this fall, I spent a few hours with two women I’d never met, talking and praying in what is called “deliverance” or “freedom” prayer. (I called it “spiritual chemo.”) It was a new and unsettling experience for me, but helpful too. They helped me think through some of the ways that I get stuck in my faith. The conversation was helpful, but it was when they said “now you need to pray out loud” that I started to make some progress.

And these past weeks, some of the most special times I had with my mother were when I took the time to pray out loud with her and asked if she, too, wanted to pray. She always nodded her head and prayed. The first time she seemed to pray for a long time. I could only understand an occasional word, usually “Father” and “peace.” The second time, we prayed in a group and again she prayed for quite some time, a little bit more clearly. I can’t remember what she said, but it was a sweet time listening to my mother speak her faith and her hope.

We weren’t that family that stood around the bedside singing hymns while my mother lay dying. We were more likely to joke. (Though actually, the family laughing and joking had been among her end of life wishes.) At one point, however, I played Christian music on my computer and witnessed a sweet time between my folks at the end of The Hallelujah Chorus as they shared their hope of heaven. When my mom took her last breath, my Dad’s first response–amidst the tears–was to pray aloud, committing her into the hands their heavenly Father. We prayed together before her casket was closed and at the cemetery chapel.

I think we were meant to pray together and out loud.

“Be prepared. You’re up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help that you can get, every weapon that God has issued, so that when it is all over but the shouting you’ll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith and salvation are more than just words. Learn how to apply them. You’ll need them throughout your life. God’s Word is an indispensable weapon. In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each others’ spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out” (Ephesians 6:13-18,The Message.)

“Are you hurting? Pray. Do you feel great? Sing. Are you sick? Call the church leaders together to pray and anoint you with oil in the name of the Master. Believing prayer will heal you, and Jesus will put you on your feet. And if you’ve sinned, you’ll be forgiven–healed inside and out” (James 5: 13-15, The Message.)