Every morning (Monday through Friday) at 10, I am welcomed to this room where I receive four blasts of radiation. The table I’m on slides back and up and the “wings” rotate forward. My new tattoos are lined up with laser lights and treatment begins. On a good morning, the whole routine takes 15 minutes.

 

I found the first few treatments physically and mentally challenging. Holding my right arm fully extended above my head pushes the limits of my post-surgical range of motion. First pain and then numbness set in–and then I had to hold that position for 40+ minutes while they took pictures, marked me up, and accomplished whatever other prep was needed. Laying on the “rack” with the machine rotating around me and people leaving the room every few minutes to avoid radiation was a little nerve wracking.

Radiation always seems like the lesser of two evils in cancer treatment, but since I understand it less than the idea of chemo, it seems more frightening to me. After years of those protective aprons during chest or dental x-rays, now I lie completely exposed with a machine delivering much higher doses of radiation on a daily basis. Though concentrated and focused, the radiation is meant to kill any remaining cancer cells but also destroys healthy cells. I can’t help wondering what the long term effects will be? I can live with short term side effects (none yet) but I worry about scaring, lymphedema, and collateral damage to surrounding organs.

But, we do adapt and I’ve found the last couple of treatments much more comfortable. I feel welcomed when I arrive and can even say “thank you” when I leave. Seven down; twenty-one to go.

A couple nights ago I noticed a dark shadow on my head when I looked in the mirror. On closer examination I saw lots of soft downy hair–maybe 1/8 inch in length. Woohoo! Being bald has gotten a lot less interesting since the end of chemo. I’ve moaned and groaned about having to wait to have my hair grow back ever so s-l-o-w-l-y. With the changing weather, my head feels cold and while hats look more appropriate, I’m sick to death of wearing them. While I’ve got a long way to go, these first signs of new growth are at least encouraging. Oh hair, you are so welcome!