As we said goodbye to Anne today, I kept thinking “It’s the end of an era.” She leaves today as Anne S Hurni, but by the time she comes home again, she will be Annie Bruce! It feels like the end of an era.

It probably wasn’t helpful to dwell on this thought during the last few days, but I couldn’t help it. With my mother’s death, it seems like more than one era is ending.

I googled the phrase, checking to see how others perceive the term:  “End of an era” refers to when something that existed for a long time comes to an end. It isn’t unusual to use the phrase when someone dies. An era is a period of time that has a particular quality or character. 

My life had a particular quality to it as long as my mother lived (and continues somewhat while my Dad’s life continues). I was a daughter even though I was married, a mom with a family of my own, living three hundred miles away. We negotiated what that relationship looked like for 30-some years, adapting to changes in circumstances on both sides.

And now, I will start that dance with Anne. The era of her childhood seems officially over, even if it really ended awhile ago. She will be a wife, a mom (someday), a kiwi! We’ll visit each other, but she’ll probably never again live at home. (Not that I’m complaining. It’s nice to have another kid move out. I’m just glad that she is moving to a place that I like to visit.)

A few weeks after Mom died, I bought a Pandora charm for the necklace my aunt gave me. I wanted something to commemorate her but thought the disk with “Loving Mother” sounded too much like an obituary. I settled on a two-piece charm with matching red hearts labeled “Mother” and “Daughter.” Afterwards, I realized that it could represent both my relationship with my mom and my relationships with my daughters. I think that is kind of cool as I ponder the end of two eras.