After spending the last six months in recovery mode, things have become a little hectic during the month of October.

For one thing, October is birthday month in the Marshall/Hurni family. During my birthday week, I celebrated with lunch out three days in a row and dinner with my family on my actual birthdate. Then it was my Dad’s birthday (88) on the 13th so I drove to Detroit and celebrated with him and the family. I was still feeling pretty good and paced myself on the drive so that I could stop and rest as needed. The 16th was John’s birthday so we set aside the day for some family fun. Plan A was to visit a National Park and buy his Lifetime Senior Pass to the National Parks. The government shutdown meant that wasn’t possible. Plan B was to fly to Lake Lawn Lodge in Wisconsin for lunch. The weather nixed that idea. In the end we came up with Plan C: spending the morning at a kid’s science museum in Aurora with Kellen, lunch at Zoup!, and flying with Johnny during nap time. I think playing hooky from work was the best part of the day for John. In the evening, we ended up bringing Kellen back to our house while Laura went to be with a close friend in labor. John and I enjoyed climbing in bed with Kellen and pretending that we were settling him down. “Papa John tell me a story about a sword…Papa John….” Sweet moments. (There are still more Marshall birthdays on the 8th, 12th, 18th, 19th, and 24th, plus two wedding anniversaries.)

I spent last Monday visiting doctors. I had my radiation treatment at Elmhurst Hospital in the morning and then drove downtown to see the Nurse Practitioner to follow up with my surgeon and get a mammogram. Between the latter two appointments I became sick and had to call John to come rescue me and give me a ride home. I spent the next day recovering.

That day my Mom received a call from her myeloma specialist instructing her to go immediately to the ER. A routine blood test done the previous day showed that her kidneys were failing (an expected complication with myeloma.) She was admitted to the hospital for hydration and more tests. On Wednesday, she saw a nephrologist who recommended dialysis. After a family meeting on Thursday morning, everybody agreed on starting dialysis. A temporary port was placed that afternoon and Mom had her first dialysis and a blood transfusion simultaneously. She had another dialysis on Friday and will likely stay in the hospital over the weekend. The plan is that she will have dialysis 3 times a week (3 hours each time) through the holidays. Fortunately, there is a dialysis center right around the corner from their home so it will be convenient, though certainly a big change in the routines of their lives.

I also worked two full days this week and will work three days next week. I’d only been able to sign up for 4 days in the month of October, but thought that with the unknown of radiation side effects that might be enough. Radiation fatigue hasn’t set in yet, so when my lead nurse called to see if I could add some days, I agreed. (I’ve enjoyed the light schedule but miss the paychecks.)

By the middle of the week, I found that I was unable to turn off my brain at night. Even after a full day of work and obvious fatigue, I was bombarded by all that was going on around me. (I’ve only given you the highlights. There’s more.) I had this frustrating sense of my life being back to “before”–before the cancer, before the big slowdown, before all the rest and recovery. I had a sense of life spinning out of control and I couldn’t figure out how that had happened. I’d tried to make reasonable choices, pacing myself in my activities and limiting my commitments. (I’d been so proud of myself for giving up the goal of finishing my Dad’s quilt in time for his birthday.)

But life happens even when you’re trying to stay in recovery mode. Governments shut down, dreary clouds descend, cold weather sets in. And it isn’t all bad stuff. Babies are born on senior citizen’s birthdays and grandparents enjoy an hour of bliss with a wiggly, talkative little boy.

I’m excited daily by my new hair growth 🙂 I finished reading my last Jane Austen book and watching most of the movies/series. I enjoyed blue skies, warm weather, my red convertible, and Michigan colors on my trip. I’m already having fun thinking about Christmas and there are wedding ideas being discussed over Skype. Today we learned that Laura and Taylor’s baby is a healthy boy! (If you haven’t seen it, check out Kellen’s press conference on Facebook. It’s really funny.)

Last night I prayed for peace and God allowed me to have a refreshing night of sleep. But I’m going to need a lot more peace in the days ahead. I’ve thought of all the people praying for me and wanted to ask you to pray specifically for peace and rest in the midst of life. Please pray for my Mom & Dad as they adjust to dialysis and the changes in her health and for the rest of  the Marshall family as well. Please pray for Johnny during the coming fall, winter and holiday season. There is definitely a seasonal impact on his condition and he finds these months the most difficult. Pray for me in the daily routine of radiation and the coming side effects. (In spite of constant moisturizing, my skin is starting to redden and I’m expecting fatigue to set in. I’m also trying to ward off muscle scarring and lymphedema with specific exercises.) You can also pray for Anne and James during his six week ABS cycle when he’s busy and exhausted with 24-7 activity and responsibility. Anne is winding down her 15-month internship and trying to figure out her plans for the coming year.

I could go on, but my real prayer is for peace, for me, for my family and my extended family. Jesus told us that we’d have trouble in this world, but promised us peace, His peace that is beyond our understanding. I so want peace and I’m learning that I can’t maintain or manufacture peace on my own, even in a period of recovery.

“Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives, do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful. John 14:27

 

“These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.”John 16:33